The Sunday Scaries
Volume 1, Number 11
Microfiction by Pat Harrigan
Content Warning: Language and Horror

The Roach King

When Kevin Peters and Todd Beery created the Roach King, they had no idea how successful he would be. From a throwaway villain in their comic book series Techbro Teens, the Roach King (tormented, philosophical, imperious and cruel yet somehow noble) spun off into his own series, with his own stable of antagonists (the Fog, AI Al, the Ant Agonist). Soon there were animated series, Funko figurines, Roach cosplay at all the conventions.
          Hasbro licensed him for toys, Asmodee bought the board game rights. Warner Brothers launched an extensive media blitz, tying the King in with their existing properties. The Roach King met Superman. The Roach King was interviewed on Jimmy Fallon (via Zoom). The Roach King sang with Jack White. The Roach King met Huckleberry Hound. Inevitably, new Kafka adaptations. McDonald’s launched their Roach Meal, with toy inside. Children shrieked.
          In my neighborhood, on the corner of Lake and Lyndale, the Roach King dominated a billboard. He stared malignly across the street at the baby in the pro-life ad.
          Roach King graffiti. Roach King street gangs. On Halloween all the trick or treaters wobbled their antennae and hissed We will take it all, Techbro Teens, we will take it all, in the Roach King’s Madagascan accent.
          Warner Brothers hit on a novel approach to raise awareness of the Roach King. Every time you turned on a screen there was a chance that a digitally animated cockroach would scuttle across it. I was watching Sesame Street with my daughter and roaches kept pouring out from Oscar’s can. Roaches scuttled across Wolf Blitzer and invaded the news covering Gaza.
          I watched some reruns of The X-Files last night. Do you remember that one from the third season? Yeah, about cockroaches. At one point they play a little game on the audience, and a cockroach seems to crawl over the actual TV screen. Sure got a jump out of me the first time I saw it back in the ’90s, believe me. This time though, I knew it was coming and it didn’t bother me, though two of three of the new Warner Brothers cockroaches chased after it a moment later, and I thought to myself, man, I’m getting pretty tired of this. One level of roach can be artistic; a second one surprising, but a third is just depressing.
          Hiss hiss, yes, I hear you. Very original. Very funny.
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